I have a new friend, Courtney, and her and I have been “dating” for a little while. It’s really awkward and strange making new friends as an adult. I want to ask questions like, “so, what tragic events messed you up as a kid?” or “how will I offend you without knowing it by running my mouth?” or “do you watch earwax extraction videos onYouTube to fall asleep like me?” It’s just a lot to take on. But I like her a lot and she’s very funny.
The last time we had lunch she was telling me a story which required a lot of background on the people in the story. So I’m already behind cause I have no idea who these people are. Remember, she’s my newest friend. She’s telling me the story and casually mentions that her friends had met for lunch at Subway and yadda yadda yadda. I interrupt. “Your friend group meets for lunch atSubway?” I asked. “Yes,” she says, “I’m from Mustang, remember?” It really struck me funny because if I was meeting a group of friends, Subway probably wouldn’t be my first choice. And I’m telling this story to my husband who casually mentions just how many times he met people at Mazzio’s growing up. I told him I ateCici’spizza all-you-can-eat-for-only-$2.99 more times than I can count as a kid. Lesson of the story: people you’ve known your whole life get the nitty gritty of dining options. Wanna go toKimson, the grossest Chinese buffet in Yukon? As a matter of fact, I do.
Let’s go back to Subway, though. This is a food blog, for crying out loud. Nobody really wants a hot plate in the midst of summer—we want cold things. Salads, sandwiches, one whole watermelon per week (just me on that one?). And what did I realize? I’ve never done a Kacie Eats on the best chain sub sandwich. The sub places where you’d only meet your longtime friends or family.
I’m not technically allowed to eat cold cuts right now cause I’m pregnant and that’s a no-no when you’re pregs. But I’m a daredevil like that.
These are in order.
5) Schlotzky’s—some people actually like Schlotzky’s, and I’m not quite sure why? Their subs are round which I feel should disqualify them altogether. They also have the strangest chopped black olives practically baked into the cheese of the bread. It’s nearly impossible to pick them off if you make the mistake of not excluding them from your sandwich. I’m realizing my distaste for hot black olives could be tainting this review. Anyway, Schlotzky’s is gross and hard to spell.
4) Subway—We’ll just call this one Courtney’s Spot. The Subway Club is classic. The perfect dressing is exactly one line of chipotle and one line of ranch. I will judge you if I get behind you in line and you order a footlong tuna, just fair warning. The achilles heel of Subway is if you get the short 6-inches of the footlong. Everyone knows what I mean here. They cut them wrong every time. One half is ALWAYS longer. It’s a lucky day if you get the long half. Most of the time I get the short half. #victim
3) Jimmy John’s—Jimmy John’s is pretty good but I can’t say I’ve ever craved it. If the opportunity presents itself, I’m never not going to go here. But it’s never at the top of my list. Here’s what’s cool about Jimmy John’s. You can get your sandwich IN A PICKLE. And also in lettuce. It’s called an unwich and it’s great for those cutting out carbs (not friends of mine). Jimmy John’s wins for best pickles.
2) Jersey Mike’s—J Mike’s was pretty recently my favorite sub. Their Club Sub was the first thing I ate after delivering one of my kids (can’t remember which one, sorry). If you’re not getting your sandwich Mike’s Way, you’re just wrong. The oil and vinegar with the nice shake of herbs on top is just the bee’s knees. Pro-tip—order your Mike’s Way ON THE SIDE if you’re taking it to-go. The oils will make your bread super soggy and that feels very sad.
1) Firehouse Subs—I am now married to Firehouse Subs. Not sure if it’s a pregnancy thing, the commitment I feel, or not. But I am assuredly in a committed relationship with Firehouse since this summer. It’s new so things are still not solidified (much like my new friendship with Courtney), but it’s promising and I think we could have a great life together. Heres what I love about Firehouse. 1. The bread is soft but toasty. 2. The toppings are cold. 3. The honey ham is the best ham of all time. If you haven’t tried Firehouse Subs, we are found very frequently at the location off Macarthur and I-40. Let’s date there.
If you’ve read this far, reply to this email with the restaurant you grew up frequenting but would NEVER take a new friend to today. 😉
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